


Nerf Wars

by 0orpheus



Series: High School Daze [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Highschool AU, Smoking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 05:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2256927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0orpheus/pseuds/0orpheus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider manages to get the gang playing boys-versus-girls Nerf gun war in order to make after-school a bit more interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nerf Wars

_Thwack!_

The nerf dart slammed into the locker next to Karkat, and the few students still milling around in the hallway looked in confusion as he closed his locker door as fast as possible and sprinted off down the hall, barely getting his backpack on in the process. Hardly a moment had passed before he heard the sound of footsteps behind him, picking up speed by the second. Another nerf dart whistled by his head before falling limply to the ground in front of him. He mumbled a quick thank you at the sound of his assailants nerf gun being reloaded behind him and turned a corner, practically diving into the haven known as the men's bathroom.

“Fucking hell, why does she always go for headshots,” he grumbled, practically falling against the wall inside. The only other boy in there gave him a confused look before being shooed away with one of Karkat’s patented glares. John had told him during third period that Vriska has specifically made Karkat her target but this was ridiculous. He could already hear her banging on the door.

“Karkaaaaaaaat, I know you have a tiny bladder but you can’t stay in there forever,” she sang through the door. The beleaguered teen leaned his head against the wall and groaned. Maybe Literature club would be cancelled today and Kanaya would be able to take that pesky bitch away early. Hell, maybe she would even get bored of just waiting outside there and leave for another time.

Yeah, like that would happen. Karkat sighed and resigned himself to waiting until she got bored enough to just walk in and shoot him there.

“When I get my hands on Strider for suggesting this fucking stupid ass game,” he groaned, “I will grind his pasty hipster bones into dust.” He banged his head against the wall in frustration. “This is the last fucking time I let anyone talk to me first thing in the morning.”

 

**== >Karkat: Be in the school parking lot at the asscrack of dawn**

 

Karkat took another drag off his cigarette and reached out to ash it in the tray, making sure to not get any on the rumpled uniform polo shirt lying next to him. His van was already slightly hazy with smoke, and he almost wished one of the teachers would notice and suspend him for smoking on school grounds if only so that he wouldn't have to go in today. Watching rom-coms until three in the morning had not been such a great idea, but alas, the one teacher on parking lot duty that morning either didn’t notice or didn’t care about the gentle curls of smoking rising out from the windows. He looked at his watch and groaned. Just enough time to drink his coffee, smoke another cigarette, and get at least technically in uniform before going in.

“At least it’s quiet,” he mumbled to himself, closing his eyes and reclining on the vans bench style back seat. In retrospect, he really should have known better than to have said anything.

“Yo, Karkat, how can you enjoy another beautiful school day in the back of you van,” Dave said as he opened the passenger door and slid into the middle seat. Karkat cracked an eye open and groaned again before throwing his polo at the blonde boy.

“What the hell are you doing in my car you sack of fetid shit,” He asked, his voice gravelly with irritation and fatigue.  Dave pulled the door shut and lit one of his own cigarettes before answering.

“Woah there, sounds like someone rolled off the wrong side of the bed into a pile of bad movies and dirty clothes this morning,” He took a drag off his cigarette, “I just figured, being the friendly, outgoing type of guy I am, that I’d invite you to the most bitchin, sicknasty game I’ve ever invented.”

“Oh sweet merciful gods in fucking heaven if this is another one of your bizarre plots to make a fool out of everyone but your ‘too-cool-for-school self’ I swear to fucking everything I will kick you out of my car and back it over your nasty ass skate shoes myself.” Karkat ground out his cigarette in the makeshift cup-holder ashtray and hauled himself up into sitting position to grab another from his pack.

“Nah, trust me, you’ll love it. It’ll be a way for you to put your Napoleon complex and anger issues to good use,” Dave replied and reached into his backpack to pull out a bright green Nerf gun. He tossed it into Karkat’s lap along with a pack of darts, earning an irritated grunt from the shorted teen. “Nerf war bro. Since none of us, ‘cept for Rose and her god damn Poetry club, have anything better to do with our after school lives I figured we’d put our time to good use and have a little contest to see who's the best shot. Our own lovely Miss Pyrope even had the bright idea of making it girls versus boys.”

Karkat stared down with sleepy eyes at the toy gun in his lap. The little gun was something you’d give a six year old or college student to entertain themselves with, with it’s green body and orange pull-back handle. The only reason he didn’t use it to shatter Dave’s beloved sunglasses was because that would require more effort he’s really willing to put in this early in the morning.

“This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of and I had Eggdork as a lab partner last year.” Karkat pulled the handle back experimentally and pressed on the trigger. The gun made a pitiful  _thwop_ noise. “And why would Terezi of all people go along with this she’s fucking blind. How would that even work.” Dave shrugged.

“Pretty well apparently, considering she already got Tavros at Anime club yesterday.”

 

**== >Terezi: Execute him**

The crowd lay silent, watching with despair at the grim situation one of their own had found himself in. Tavros lay on the ground with only his hands keeping him upright, and stared at the barrel of the gun with wide eyes.His wheelchair lay on its side a few feet away, useless to him. His assailant held the gun steadily with one hand, her mouth curled into a devilish smile.

“Please, it doesn’t have to, um, be this way,” Tavros pleaded, unable to look at anything but the weapon aimed directly at him.

“Oh yes it does,” Terezi snickered, “and I take great personal joy from the fact,” Her finger gently tapped the trigger. One girl gasped and turned away, grasping the arm of the boy beside her. Tavros gulped and managed to look up straight into Terezi’s red glasses.

“Killing me won’t end this war,”

“Now isn’t that a damn shame.” Terezi tightened her finger on the trigger and the a gasp rose from the crowd as the nerf bullet hit Tavros directly in the forehead. He flinched and fell backwards with a hard thump, and Terezi pulled back her gun to blow on the barrel. The room was silent for a few moments before she grinned and turned to properly face the other members of Anime club as best as she could. “Alright, shows over! Thank you for watching, you may now return to your miserable daily existence.” She then turned around, gracefully knocked over a chair with her cane, and strutted out of the room, leaving the club members in awe. After few more moments and many confused questions and shrugs the returned to their seats and turned their show back on, amazed that such a dramatic scene had happened in their own very clubroom. Except for Tavros, who still lay on the floor, unable to get to his wheelchair.

“Um, guys? A little, um, help here?” Tavros asked, and nobody listened.

 

**== >Go back to being the irritated boy in the bathroom.**

 

Karkat sighed. Sometimes, he really fucking hated his friends. And by sometimes he meant all the time. As if to make things worse, the faint odor of weed wafted over to him. He looked up to see a cloud of smoke rising from one of the stalls.

“Hey, fucktits!” he yelled. “There’s a fucking park like twenty feet away from the building. Go fucking smoke over there.” No response came, and he resigned himself to being stuck in here not only awaiting his nerf doom at the hands of one Vriska Sekret, but also being forced to wallow in the sickly sweet smell of ganja while he waited. Suddenly, the stall door opened and a tall, gangly teen walked out in a haze of smoke.

“Motherfucking best friend, if I had known you were in here I wouldn’t have been getting my miracles on,” Gamzee drawled, a stoned smile draped across his face. Oh god this is not what Karkat needed.

“You fucker, don’t give me that shit.” Karkat snapped, “I’m being held fucking hostage by fucking Sekret of all people because of Strider’s stupid-ass game. I’m not dealing with your nasty ass weed at the same time” Gamzee’s smile turned into a full on grin.

“Ah shit, brother, you’re in this too? Right on. Don’t you worry about motherfucking Vriska, I go this one,” Karkat facepalmed. This was definitely not what he needed.

“And how exactly are you gonna help? Didn’t you get it through your stoned head, she’s literally right outside waiting for me. I’m surprised she hasn’t fucking waltzed in here and shot me in the eye,” Gamzee winked and threw his joint in the sink where it smoked for another moment before going out. Thank god their school was too cheap to put smoke detectors in the bathrooms. He ambled back over to the stall and stepped in. The next thing Karkat knew the other boy was standing on what must of been the toilet, his head fully above the stall walls. “What the fuck are you doing now!” Karkat yelled as Gamzee began to push on the tile above. After popping it up from the ceiling he pushed the one next to it up as well and moved them aside, making a decent size hole in the ceiling. Before Karkat could explode at him again, Gamzee had already managed to shimmy up into the ceiling. He could hear the ceiling tiles creak and groan above him as the stoner somehow climbed across the tiles. A little bit of plaster fell from the tile above Karkat and landed on his nose.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing you’re going to break the fucking ceiling and somehow I’ll get blamed!” Karkat screeched. The only thing he heard in response was muffled laughter and the continuing bumps and creaking noises above. He slid down against the wall and mentally punched himself for leaving his cigarettes in the car because god could he use one right now. Suddenly, he heard Vriska scream from outside.

“WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING STONER SHIT HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE.” Her voice practically rattled the door.  Karkat closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. Like hell he was going out there to see what new chaos was arising. The bathroom door opened again. Vriska walked in with a look of sheer fury on her face and a nerf dart somehow lodged in her cleavage. Karkat’s mouth fell open as she stomped over to where he was sitting and glared down at him.

“Alright asshole, I don’t know how you got fucking Gamzee of all people to ambush me from the ceiling but mark my words,” She leaned down and gave him a smug smile. “We’ll get you. You and your loser friends are nothing compared to my tactical brilliance and even though I’m out, I promise you: We. Will. Win.” She then stood up and walked out without another word.

“Fuck you, I didn’t tell him to do that! I don’t even want to play Strider’s stupid fucking game!” He shouted at the swinging bathroom door, not even caring if she heard him or not.

It was going to be a long week.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
